This was scary

When placing and ad in Craigslist, you're bound to get voice mails. Most voice mails are benign, and then there are those that make you wonder about even calling the person back. Saturday I got one of those and I am so kicking myself in the butt for not saving it and transcribing it in all its glory here. I am going to do my best to transcribe it.

The phone rang at 7 pm, I don't know why I didn't hear the phone ring, I've got an AC/DC song as my ringer so you'd think I could hear that damn thing anywhere, but I missed it.

I notice that I have a message, I listen to it- please note all remarks made within the parens are mine

The message was from a woman with a super heavy Southern accent. What she said and how she said it made me think she was reading from a script.

"Hello and good evening. My name is Robin and I am sorry for calling you so late (late? It's barely 7 pm on a Saturday night), but I have been working very long hours every day this week and could not call you until now (this is New York City, we all work long hours). I saw your ad in Craigslist and did send you an email on July 30 but you never emailed me back (um, no, I checked). Your ad states the size of the bedroom, but I require the entire dimensions of the apartment. If you would be so kind as to call me at this number, 917-XXX-XXX, leave your name, your address, the dimensions of the entire apartment. I require the measurements of all the rooms in the apartment, i will call you back if your dwelling fits my needs (like I have nothing better to do then run around my place with a measuring tape). So please do leave me a voice mail with all of that information. Thank you so very much for your time. Once again, this is Robin and my number is 917-XXX-XXXX"

I would have replayed the message back, but she rambled close to three minutes and I just couldn't bear it again. I checked my missed call log and noticed that her call came in as "unknown." Why is she being so cloak and dagger? Why is she so freaking weird? My curiosity piqued, I called her back. Her call phone rang and rang and rang. Eventually the voice mail picked up. For someone who's desperate for a place to live, she's screening her calls.

Immediately red flags start flying at full mast. I start wondering what other problems she may be having in her life, besides the obvious one; she needs a place to live. If she's this long winded and demanding in a phone message, what the hell is she like in real life.

Sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me, so I leave her a quick voice mail with my phone number asking her to call me back.

I hear nothing back as the days go by; this is nothing new, I've had people make appointments to see the place and not show up.

Wednesday afternoon, I get off the subway and am walking home. It's been a long hot sticky day. I get the voice mail tone buzzing from cell phone. Whoo boy, it's Robin. What's more she's sounding pissed off. WTF? She's desperate for a place to live and she's pissed at me?

In a nutshell, her message states that I didn't leave my name, the address, the dimensions of the apartment, the square footage etc., etc., and I must immediately call her back with all that information or else. This is weird, this is very weird. I call back, and guess what, I get voice mail again. I simply tell her that her messages are disconcerting and please don't call me any more.

A few hours later my cell rings, caller ID says its "unknown," I pick it up and it's Robin.

"Hello?"

"This is Robin, and you did not leave me any information about yourself or your apartment."

"Robin, I'm sorry but you didn't tell me how long you wanted to rent the room or any other information in your voicemail. "

"Well I need to know with whom I am speaking with before I divulge any information to the caller."

"Robin, to be honest with you, I'm not interested in showing you the apartment, to say the least. your messages are disconcerting and I'm not interested. I wish you the best of luck. Good bye."

I hang up.

The phone rings again, and yes it's Robin.

"You need to...you need to..."

I cut her off, "Robin, I don't know you and don't have anything to say to you. Please don't call me again."

I hang up.

The phone rings again, and yes it's Robin. Again.

Before she can even speak, "Robin it's pretty obvious you have issues, please don't call me again."

I hang up.

The phone rings again, and yes it's Robin. Again.

I put the phone down on my desk, I vaguely hear her ranting and raving, I'm not listening. I figured if she got it all off her chest I wouldn't hear from her again.

So far I haven't.