Honestly!

I just don't know any more, do people leave their brains somewhere and forget to pick them up? Do they send them to the dry cleaners and lose the tickets?

Friday and Saturday brought a spate of truly annoying phone calls.

1) Right before the wack-a-doodle moved in, I got a phone call from a woman moving from California to New York City. She had read my ad and called me. We spoke on the phone, I sent her photos of the apartment and the dog.

Wack-a-doodle moved out, I find her email and send her a note letting her know the apartment is open. Hear nothing. This past Thursday she calls me, we talk and she tells me she'll call me Friday and come by to see the apartment. I call her on Friday to firm things up. She's sleeping. I call around 7 pm to see if she is still interested, she says she'll call me back.

Saturday around 6pm, she calls me. She doesn't remember a thing. Not the phone calls we had Thursday or Friday. We talk, and I try to refresh her failing memory. She has no inkling that she and I talked in late June, early July. I keep repeating all the pertinent information. She insists that I am near St. Johns University, I'm not, I'm in Manhattan. As we talk, I mention that I must walk the dog.

She then informs me she has "dog phobia."

Huh? I've mentioned the dog to her more than once. I even sent her a photo of said dog. I tell her to not bother coming over.

Which leads me to dog story number two.

A woman calls up about the apartment share. She sounds very high strung and a bit blurry around the edges. I'm not even sure that I want her to come and look at it. The kicker comes when she says to me...

"Oh your ad said you have a dog."

"A small dog, yes. She's very sweet natured and friendly. Basically sleeps a lot, loves strawberries and edamame."

"You keep her in your bedroom."

"I what?"

"Well I don't like dogs, so you'll have to keep her in your bedroom."

"Excuse me?" I completely lose it and don't care, " Who the hell are you to tell me what I should do about my dog in my apartment?! If you don't bloody well like dogs then you ought to read the ads and weed out the ones that say they have pets. Why the hell would I lock my own dog in my own bedroom in my own apartment? Do not ever call this number again."

3) Ms Annoyance number 3. This woman who I shall name Rose calls me Friday morning.
"Hello, I'm Rose and I'm very literary."
(I'm thinking this is a very strange way to start a telemarketing call)
"And..."
"Well I saw your ad on Craigslist and I just came back from Europe. I want to utilize all the libraries at Columbia University and need a place near the campus."
"My apartment is a 10 minute walk from the Law School. I'm in a very quiet and lovely residential neighborhood."
"I'd love to see it. Can I come over now?"
"No, I'm at work, but I can show it to you at 7:30 pm tonight, will that work for you?"
"That's fine, I have an appointment at 7 pm and I'll call you when I leave."

I check my email and she's left me emails stating that she's interested. I get another phone call from her later on in the afternoon. she's persistent. She keeps telling me how she can't wait to see it. The moment I get off the train the phone rings. It's Rose. "Oh, I must tell you I' m taking the apartment I just saw."

Grrrrr.

Last dog story of the night.

Saturday the phone rings. It's a med student who needs a place for two months while she's studying for the boards. We talk, it turns out that she knows and likes the area. She's thinking about taking a look at my place but isn't sure. As the conversation unfolds, she lets me know that she has a dog too. A beagle who likes to chew plastic, shoes and whatever else she can wrap around her gums. I'm starting to think this might not be a good fit. I live in an old pre-war apartment with one telephone outlet. I have to string 20+ foot long telephone wires to my computer and router, her dog might eat them.
Then she lets me know that her dog likes to "jump" on other dogs, this makes me nervous, as Sophie is friendly but doesn't like rough play from other dogs.
We chat for a bit, she's on a train from DC, and she tells me she'll call me either later on that day or Sunday to set things up to see the place. I think that maybe Sophie can handle the dog for two months.

It's now 3 pm, I'm leaving the house to do errands. I'm walking and halfway to Lexington Avenue, which is 20 minutes from my home.

It's the student. "Oh hi! I'm right in front of your place."

Mind you, she had not said that she would definitely come over to take a look at the place. She wanted something that was closer, in her mind to the school. I'm a 10 minute walk but that was too far from her. She had told me if she did decide to come and look at it, she'd call for an appointment.

"I wish you had told me that you were coming over, I'm not home."

"Well I'm only two blocks away, I want to see it now."

"I'd love to show it to you, but as I said I'm not home, I'm at least 20 minutes away from the house and I would have liked to at least do my dishes before you came over."

"Well I missed my subway stop and I'm here now."

"Yes, I understand that, but I AM NOT HOME."

I don't yell, I'm trying to emphasize that I am not there. She doesn't seem to get the fact that I'm not home. Oh I know, I told her, she just isn't listening.

"Look," I tell her, "I'm not home(I know I'm repeating myself) why don't you give me a call in an hour and we can meet, okay?"

"Sure" and I never heard from her again.